It'll take me a while -- perhaps 'til 2020 -- but I suppose I'll eventually get over the crushing disappointment that the United States will not be hosting the Tournament for the Jules Rimet Trophy, aka The World Cup, in 2022.

Instead, it's going to Qatar.

Where no one would go -- especially to watch soccer -- unless they were paid large sums of money by an energy company.

Speaking of which...

Were the FIFA officals, one wonders, promised gasoline for life?

What other reason could they possibly have for choosing to play the World Cup in a place like Qatar?

As for selecting Russia as the host of the 2018 World Cup, well, one has to assume that certain prominent Russian, shall we say, "businessmen," made the committee an offer they couldn't refuse.

Which pretty much means that, if you're ever going to attend a World Cup, the place to do it is in lively Rio de Janeiro four years from now.

Give me samba drums over a vuvuzela, every time.